Hissey Fit Action
I am about to have the hissey fit to end all hissey fits.
At this stage I am still not even 100% sure why this is so, but quite possibly the most annoying thing about it all is that there will be no-one around who gets it, which in my opinion lessens the effectiveness of a hissey fit considerably - I mean what's the point in all this show if there is no audience??
Let me back track for you (just a question of whether or not I begin at the dawn of this day, this week, this month or this year). Okay, maybe I am being melodramatic but I am attempting to create a picture for you as to the reasons behind the rising 'hisseyness' within me - I am fairly certain that hisseyness is not a word but I use it to encompass that mass jumble of tears, hysteria, foot stamping and pouting, that accompanies any decent outburst - or at least any I have ever thrown, which I know some of you have been fortunate (and fairly amused) to observe.
To be honest, I guess the homesickness isn't helping. And a previous weekend that almost extended the full 72 hours from what was supposed to be a quiet Friday night running a fundraiser, to ending covered in an Aussie flag whilst lying in the middle of Sakaisuji at 4am Monday morning, has done little to settle the emotional state of mind - although it was sooooo much fun. At least it looked like fun in the photos.
Put this together with a rock solid call to give up cigarettes, alcohol and banned substances of any description, when upon waking at 10am Monday morning I felt I was going to severely struggle to get through my meager 2 hour working day and, even in the foggy stupor I was in, realising that in itself was just bloody ridiculous (considering I have the easiest schedule of any foreigner claiming to teach English in Japan).
It is fair to say the little things are beginning to rattle me. I feel like something has started pulling at the cotton within me, bit by bit I am becoming less, and if I don't cut the thread somewhere, with one not-so-strong-tug, I will unravel completely into one ginormous heaving hissey fit that I might not recover from.
Take for instance the virus I found on my laptop this morning. Normally I could handle selecting the 'clean/delete infected file' without a second thought but it took 2 teary phone calls to a person in Oz who can only be described as my rock during such dramas, to get that mouse clicking. Then came the misplaced diskette 2 minutes later, containing my resume. Once again, another frenzied phone call back to The Rock, who now should actually be called My Savior, as he had happened to back up all my files on his rescue mission to Japan earlier this year (the rescue-me-from-myself mission as it turned out to be).
Coming into work this afternoon, I recoiled in horror when I learned that I was expected to do an insane workload of about 30 hours this week - an exact 300% increase on what the norm. When I claimed that these abnormally high hours would conflict with my current schedule and was questioned over exactly what it would interfere with, I winced as I suddenly became conscious of how utterly preposterous the word 'sleep' would sound in response.
And that is when I felt it - as I was crumbling on the inside, the first, acute signs of what seemed like the inevitable hissey fit coming on, as though I had been slapped in the face - or was about to do some slapping anyway.
Somehow in someway, sitting here on the blog has managed to calm me down and sort through my thoughts in a more rational way. I mean c'mon, hurling a hissey fit amongst the safe confines of friends is one thing - doing it in front of constantly masked Japanese work colleagues who would rather eat razor blades than go to such extremes to vent in the workplace, is another.
(Also, perhaps it is better for me that they remain blissfully ignorant to this side of their smiley and seemingly 100% genki friend)
And besides - I just don't think throwing a hissey fit would be so much fun without getting the reaction it deserved.
Labels: Thoughts of Sorts