Friends - How Many Of You Have Them?
I am feeling a little bit lost and confused this Sunday night.
I know who my friends are here, I really do, I love them so much. I am always here for them. And they know it. Yet somehow I think this is part of the problem.
Most of my friends here have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. And I totally understand that when it comes down to it, their priorities lie with this special person in their life - and so they should. But I have also come to realise that because I am not seeing anyone at the moment, I don't have that one person I can totally rely on to be there when I need it. Even if it is just to have some company or someone simply to chew the fat with. So at that vital time, when it comes down to it, I can't rely on my friends to be there for me 100%.
Yet, they know when they need a friend I am always there - where else would I be if I'm not at work?? They know I don't have any committments to anyone, they know their time with me will be focussed on just them, because there is no-one else distracting me. They can go back and forth and always have someone. The advice of one friend was "take a break..." More easily said than done, when the person who suggested this is able to go to his girlfriend's house when he feels he needs to distance himself from things...where do I go? To my room??
*sigh* - I don't actually want a boyfriend, (to be honest, when I do have someone on the scene, more often than not I wish they would just leave me alone - I get bored of things, people, whatever extremely quickly), but I hate these times for making me wish I did!
Props to Akira, a fellow higher being, for knowing exactly where I was at last night, and for purely knowing to stay...We gotta throw ice at people more often.