Top 5 Things A Lone Women Traveller Should Never Do:
5. Answer the wild-eyed male street vendor who starts hasselling you with questions about travelling companions honestly..."No. I'm not here with anyone, least of all my boyfriend - how can I be when I don't have one?"
4. Divulge information on your accommodation whereabouts, whether it be accidental - or detrimental - to anyone. That way you won't be left wondering who the hell keeps knocking on your door throughout the night whispering sweet scarinesses such as "I love you", "I have present for you, let me in" and "I miss you" leaving you in a permanent state of distressed insomnia, wondering if your Aeroguard can also act as mace should the wouldbe guest actually somehow enter your room.
3. Say yes to every dinner invitation or sightseeing offer when you have no intention of seeing it through, because you don't have anyone else to blame your absence on with a "oh my mate, she chipped her nails and I had to redo them" style of excuse...Ultimately when you stand someone up in a place like Thailand, where more often than not there is only one main drag/beach/bar where everyone hangs out, you're gunna bump into them. And when you do, they will not take no for an answer the second time around. And then you're not only stuck clambering for an excuse, but you have to pretend you're good naturedly dealing with the lumps of guilt they keep plying you with - and act like you still wanna hangout with them on top of all that.
2. Being nice for the sake of not hurting anyone's feelings - see point 3, 4 and 5.
And the number one thing a lone gal seeing the world on her own should NEVER do:
1. Read Bret Easton Ellis' "American Psycho". Unless you are quite content sleeping with all the lights on, all windows jammed shut and the fan shut off, no matter how hot it is (okay the fan thing is nothing to do with the psychopath Patrick Bateman, maybe more my fear of falling ceiling fans, resulting in major mutilation). If sleeping qualifies as sitting up on your bed all night, watching the door, jumping at every little sound, reaching for the Aeoguard as you will sunrise to magically appear early just this once in your life. Cause that is what I did until about 5.15 this morning, when the first streaks on a new day dawning over the water finally realxed me enough to get some shuteye.
Well the sun is shining, the beach is calling - and I have a book to finish...