a The Transit Lounge: Signs of Life...But No Signs of Growing Up

Back in the Day: I had a quarter life crisis, headed to Osaka, Japan for the unknown–only to discover that a passport plane ride are not necessarily a ticket to escape. Some Years Later: Settled back in Oz, the man of my dreams ended up in Tokyo for work–which is how a passport and plane ride showed me home is where the heart is. And Now: Well as luck would have it, we are about to embark on Japan Mark 3, with a baby in tow and another on the way...

Monday, October 24

Signs of Life...But No Signs of Growing Up

Happy 27th Birthday to me. For yesterday that is.
I think 27 is going to be a pretty cool age. I mean you know, the number shows you should have enough years behind you to know a thing or two (and even better at times), without the finality of "it's over" that I suppose reaching 30 appears at the present to hold for me. I think it is an age your behaviour can still be explained away by the youth that is still on your side.
I thought I would stop acting the goat well before I reached the age of 25. Then that milestone came and went in a flurry of Fizzy Lizzies and ended with me being on the wrong side of the tracks still none of the wiser.
I live in a dream world in Japan that is so far removed from reality of what my life would be in Australia. There is no way I could live like this back home - and that goes for my other foreign friends too and their own countries. I get news from friends in Australia who are buying houses, or getting married and to me that I guess represents growing up. Since I feel these are two things that are a long time off from happening in my life to the point I often doubt it will ever happen, I feel as though I will never grow up.
In terms of absolutely everything, I am worried that when I go home next month I will be this kid compared to everyone else I know. From work to living arrangements, fashion to what I do in my free time - I mean I wear Mickey Mouse baseball caps and sparkly leg warmers when I go out and I get paid to drink, you think I could do that back home and pull it off? (Actually the style thing I probably could). But you get my point.
On the other hand, I love my life here. At the moment I don't want to be living any other way. I am completely independent, and when I say it is my life, it really is. If something goes right or wrong, I must take responsibility for it here and now. Yes you have your friends who are like your family to support you, but in the deep reality of it all, that can only go so far. The rest is up to you. And not everyone can hack it here. Japan is a tough place to make a life for yourself as a foreigner, the only thing you can rely on here is that inconsistency is the only consistency - my flatmates certainly know of some extremely testing times I have had, when I have been so close to calling it quits and taking the next plane home, but I didn't, I stuck it out and worked through it when so many people would not have done that. It takes a special kind of character to do it and do it well and to do it so that you really do get something out of it, and I am fortunate to be one of these people.
Is that some sort of sign to show I am capable of growing up? I'd like to think so...only time will tell.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Gitte said...

I thought the only reason you didn't come home was because you couldn't afford the plane ticket?? ;-)

8:58 pm

 
Blogger Miss Riz said...

that's right - cause i dont know how to save money!

9:22 pm

 

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