Okay, so you've just had 3 days of hard partying for your 27th birthday over a long weekend, and you wake up sometime Tuesday afternoon with a throbbing head and a queasy stomach. What can you do to comfort yourself? Hell, if I knew the answer to that, I'd be a rich woman but I can give you some pointers on what NOT to do.
1. Grab anything from the shelf at the Lawon's, and then 7-11 30 minutes later. Christ, doesn't anything in this town come without seafood, fish flakes, seaweed or any creature that used to be in your family fish tank? Next time make the trek to Namba and get your Mackas.
2. Look at photos from home, especially those with your ex-boyfriends in them. And stop telling yourself and that you should never have broken up with them. Deep down you know somewhere a tequila shot has blocked you from recalling what that original reason was from the depths of your long-term memory.
3. Wear that t-shirt your parents gave you, the one that has a huge gorgeous photo of your beloved pet dog ironed lovingly on it, who died 2 months after you moved to Japan. He was old, he was sick, and besides, his ashes are still sitting on the fireplace back home.
4. Taking any sort of pain killer on an empty stomach. Unless you enjoy vommiting of course.
5. Play Linda Ronstadt's Greatest Hits - namely the first song. You do not need to hear that line "You'd better let somebody love you before it's too late" from Desperado. Ever. Again.
6. Get out of bed. Just put your cold eye mask on and pull the covers back over your face. You do not need to face the world today.
I'm going back to bed.