a The Transit Lounge: November 2005

Back in the Day: I had a quarter life crisis, headed to Osaka, Japan for the unknown–only to discover that a passport plane ride are not necessarily a ticket to escape. Some Years Later: Settled back in Oz, the man of my dreams ended up in Tokyo for work–which is how a passport and plane ride showed me home is where the heart is. And Now: Well as luck would have it, we are about to embark on Japan Mark 3, with a baby in tow and another on the way...

Wednesday, November 30

Homeward Bound

Tomorrow I am off to Melbourne for 3 weeks of what better be "lying by the pool" weather.

My plans include not drinking any alcohol, jogging and swimming laps everyday, uninterrupted tanning, studying Japanese and meeting my writing deadlines, of which there are a few, and of course losing 7 kgs.
What is most likely to happen is that I go nuts on the champers, I end up exercising for a measly 3 out of 20 possible days, and I gain 5 kg. I am going to try so hard for this not to happen - I have been saying that "Thin Lizzy" is making a come back to the charts in a major way ie I amda going to come back to Japan skinny and hot read irresistable to no-one/someone in particular.
Will write about last week's Electraglide too when I get the chance. Ciao.

Sunday, November 27

7th Heaven on Cloud 9

Could I possibly be any happier?
Last night was the huge event Electraglide, and thanks to my Cliffy and the crew, as well as an awesome night hanging out with some of the world's top DJs, I didn't stop smiling all night. I am still in awe of how it all came together and who I got to meet and chew the fat with.
More later!!

Friday, November 25

Where's The Cheese?

I have days like this when I wonder why all my stress comes in such a way that it has to make me so sick, and where it comes from. Oh believe me, underneath it all, I know what I worry about and why, and I tend to think a lot more than the average person around me (I take afternoon naps just so I can get peace and sort some of my thoughts in the relative quietness of my room, because if I don't, I feel I am never going to have a moment to think about whatever it is at that point with some order).
But today for instance, I finished work early last night - because I was in pain - and woke up today feeling fairly fresh - albeit bloody sore. And my main thought for the day is "Do I go to the tanning beds now or later?" Serious, that is all that's on my agenda today. That and a student at 4pm and then I am getting taken out for dinner at 7pm. Oh and I have to write 2 interviews still. But you see what I mean? Why all the worry??

Thursday, November 24

Itai Yo (It hurts)

I know my body physically does not cope well with stress. No matter how much I try to push it out of my mind, just when I think I am over it, or have been successful at ignoring it, my body erupts/breaks down/goes abnormal in some way to remind me I haven't. Which is why I have now got shingles - ie my immune system is so weak at the moment, that after being in my system for 20 years and not doing anything since it first got me, the chicken pox virus can re-attack me, but in a different, more painful form that involves the nerve endings in my skin. I imagine what I am feeling now is what I would be feeling if I had about 100 needles being pushed right through my back and out of stomach. And into my left arm and twisting up so that they come out of my neck. The only consolation I am taking from this is that it isn:t on my face or anywhere that clothes can't cover. And also that my appetite seems to be decreasing. I wish i could take good advantage of that and do some cardio!!

Tuesday, November 22

Slightly Dizzy & Oh So Busy

Sorry for the lack of movement...as usual have been tres busy.
For a quick rundown here goes:
Writing
  • Got article 'Southern Exposure' about South American DJ/producer Hernan Cattaneo published in Kansai Scene.
  • Finished writing article based on interview with Pnau yesterday - will be published in December issue of KS.
  • Writing interview questions for Zombie Nation, a German trance/electronic outfit (yes mum - Germany is the unofficial capital of Techno!) due tomorrow. This interview will be for inthemix, an Australian-based online magazine.
  • Writing interview questions for Tiga, Adrian Sherwood, Vitalic and Coldcut who are all performing this Saturday in Osaka at Electraglide.
  • Meeting with Shingo, a Japanese gangsta hip hop artist, later this for interview opp.

Work

  • Hostessing everynight - that is when I don't have almost a week off due to a weird kind of anxiety attack that I had last week which must be the reason I have this strange rash on my the left side of my torso.
  • Got the occasional private student still but that's gone by the wayside due to writing keeping me glued to my laptop.

Social Life

  • It can't possibly be any more full. Zing, Triangle, Underlounge, Absinthe and Caligula are all places I seem to have to be of late - not necessarily because I want to be (well that usually changes after a few tequila shots though, nobody is making me stay til stumps I guess).
  • Cosmic Hippie @ NYX tonight. Cliffy's playing and that means it is a guaranteed good time.
  • Went to Nara last Friday night to stay with a student and his family. It was great getting 3 home-cooked meals and a day of sightseeing on Saturday. Mental Note: get out of Osaka more often!!
  • Got my second tattoo - read as "wa" which means harmony/balance/peace. Full story behind the reasoning for another post. But you should be able to at least figure out the balance part (something my life seems to lack).

Love Life

  • Just friends and nothing more with the DIO13 (my meh)
  • Just friends and fries on the side with DIO12 (no meh from other of us, we tend to get quite terse with each other)
  • Just friends and nothing more with just about everybody, although I wished I had of got the number of this guy, Yoji, I was talking to at Zing for most of the night on Saturday, but when it came to going home, I just wanted to get out of there and didn't stay around for exchanges. I am sure I will bump into him again.

Finance

  • I'm in crisis mode. The outlook is severely bleak and tight, but on the one hand, I have the opportunity to chase my dream. I have to believe that this will lead to bigger and better things.

Friday, November 18

Message To My Boy

Thank something for my mates.

As you may have read, I had a real killer of a day. I haven't really gotten into it on the blog, but that will come. Not only do I have my fantabulous flatties Cliff n Troy to thank, but also Akira who has stayed the night with me, handling the wide range of emotions I have randomly unleashed on him.
I think the highlight of the night was dancing to Madonna's new single Hung Up, and talking about how much Guy Ritchie loves us. I think the low light was the fact that this is the second night in a row I have polished off a bottle of tequila via shots - and it wasn't even Jose Cuervo. It was the un-aged crap - "Olmeca" - it's white for crissakes!
Anyway kudos to Akira for patting my hair, letting me listen to the Everly Brothers and more Linda Ronstadt than was healthy and wiping away my tears (and my snotty nose) and for also giving me the most interesting of tarot card readings that apparently predicted such awesome things for 2006 that he couldn't tell me. I finally got it out of him and it goes along the lines of that I end up in a another country somewhere with some rich dude who wants to be with me permanently but I can't decide whether I want to return to Oz or Japan....and that's all the "52 Most Wanted Iraqi" cards revealed.
And now he is taking the day off work tomorrow to spend it with me - and try and get me to sleep. This tequila is rancidly keeping me awake.

Thursday, November 17

T-Money and Motown

This post is a lil' tribute to my boys - Cliffy and Troy (you know who you are).

I had a really bad day today, something I couldn't quite explain to myself - let alone them. I felt so bad and so down and so awful. They knew what was at the heart of it but this morning I honestly couldn't face anyone and Troy was just perfect. I swear that guy hugs me and my problems instantly dissolve - and without me having to go into any depth (I literally couldn't) he knew just how upset I was, and he understood I would talk when I was ready and able.
Then there is Cliffy. Cliffy walks through the door tonight with a cute bunch of flowers for me, to say sorry for my bad day. Do you know how long it has been since anyone has given me flowers?? I almost cried!! I was completely taken by surprise. Cliffy and Troy - it goes without saying - are my best mates, my family, here in Japan. Though sometimes I think maybe they won't understand just how much something has bothered me or gotten to me - but I underestimate them everytime.
They knew just how much this deal meant to me, they have been with me all along, and at times when I think they haven't noticed, I am so wrong. They are watching out for me every step of the way. I love them so much, and I don't know what I would do without them.
My bitches rock.

Linda Ronstadt, Marlboro Lights and Me

All inspiration has totally left me today. I'm staying in bed until I have to go to work. After a really fun night, let's just say I decided it was in my best interests to let this fish go. Not that I am happy about that, it was just too complex. Like an old friend always used to say "It all comes down to timing" and it really does and it really proves that timing isn't ever on my side. Definitely no hard feelings, I am just really disappointed but I know I did the right thing *sigh*. Man, I am so bored of my own company already.

Wednesday, November 16

Men Behaving Badly

I think I have wrongly assumed that as we all get older, we all automatically grow up. I know growing up is something I have talked a lot about on this site, and it is something I think about a fair bit too. It is also something that is obviously an ongoing and evolving process, and something I proudly can see creating changes in me.
The main change that has come about in myself would be my reactions to and handling of situations where I must be patient and not fly off the handle (ignore "Men Suck" below - even Troy backed me up on the one, and if you're wondering, this post isn't about that particular man), in order to get the response or result I desire. Believe it or not, I am not so self-centred anymore when it boils down to making the right choice (it may come across otherwise on here, but then again, this blog is about....me) and I have definitely learned to look at a story or argument from all relevant angles before having my say.
I thought these traits were something that eventually revealed themselves to everyone. I thought wrong - the following exhibit definitely has a long way to go!
At an age nearing 40, you think most men would have lost the whole "Me! Me! Me!" attitude and gotten with the program. I am surprised to say that yesterday I was part of an exchange that was just like dealing with a kid from high school who had yet to learn the world is a big place and doesn't revolve around them - in other words, there was just no talking any sense and asking him to put himself in my shoes was definitely out of the question. What went from a legititmate concern of mine turned into pure 180 of a "Look at everything I have done for you/What about me?" kind of a discussion. And the more calm my responses, the more agitated the reactions became.
And when I got to thinking about it - that is having a laugh over it with my housemates - I realised that every discussion, be it of the serious or lighthearted variety, I have ever had with this person, always somehow turned around to being all about him. I thought maybe that was just my slant on it, but then I re-read all the messages stored on my phone, and it turns out my hunch was right.
I'd like to say "He'll learn for himself one day", but I think he is definitely past that point. Now I can understand why he has stayed in Japan so long - no western woman would put up with this kind of crap.

Sunday, November 13

MEN SUCK

Men suck - that's all I have to say about that.

Wednesday, November 9

My Big But

I think one of the most difficult things anyone ever has to hear is "I like you but...". It starts with so much promise and ends with just total deflation when that "but" is thrown in. In the last few years (read: my entire time in Japan) whenever I have become even remotely interested in someone, there has always been that dreaded "but."
I hate it for so many reasons, mainly because it can be used as such an excuse and an easy out ("Rember when I told you I liked you but?"). Not that anything in Japan has ever gotten to the stage where the men in question have needed to use it, things have generally just fizzled out or I've just not cared. The problem now is , I do.
For the first time I can remember since leaving Melbourne, I'm actually genuinely, more than-just-passing-the-time excited about someone I have been spending a lot of time with of late. Except he has a huge but. A really big one that kind of gets in the way of anything moving forward, at least from where I see it.
And I got the whole "I like you but...." thing about 2 weeks ago and even though the conversation continued for a good long while after that, I don't really recall much of it. Something to do with me concentrating on not looking like a deflated shell of myself and acting as though I really understood and was totally cool with it. Cause that's apparently one reason I'm so easy to hang with - because I do understand and I am totally cool with it, at least from where he sees his but.
At present though, I just feel like heaving a big sigh and letting all the hot air out. And possibly scraping the skin from my knuckles. It's so hard to keep my distance, especially when a person's actions are in most part to the contrary, which leaves me thinking that is one confused but. That said means I am especially looking forward to going back to Melbourne and maybe that space will add some perspective to the but for both of us.
There is no way around it. Big buts suck.

Saturday, November 5

Right Here Right Pnau


==> I got to talk with Nick from Pnau, a great Aussie electro dance duo, at Underlounge last night. We are doing our best Blue Steels here. Great interview too.