a The Transit Lounge: Men Behaving Badly

Back in the Day: I had a quarter life crisis, headed to Osaka, Japan for the unknown–only to discover that a passport plane ride are not necessarily a ticket to escape. Some Years Later: Settled back in Oz, the man of my dreams ended up in Tokyo for work–which is how a passport and plane ride showed me home is where the heart is. And Now: Well as luck would have it, we are about to embark on Japan Mark 3, with a baby in tow and another on the way...

Wednesday, November 16

Men Behaving Badly

I think I have wrongly assumed that as we all get older, we all automatically grow up. I know growing up is something I have talked a lot about on this site, and it is something I think about a fair bit too. It is also something that is obviously an ongoing and evolving process, and something I proudly can see creating changes in me.
The main change that has come about in myself would be my reactions to and handling of situations where I must be patient and not fly off the handle (ignore "Men Suck" below - even Troy backed me up on the one, and if you're wondering, this post isn't about that particular man), in order to get the response or result I desire. Believe it or not, I am not so self-centred anymore when it boils down to making the right choice (it may come across otherwise on here, but then again, this blog is about....me) and I have definitely learned to look at a story or argument from all relevant angles before having my say.
I thought these traits were something that eventually revealed themselves to everyone. I thought wrong - the following exhibit definitely has a long way to go!
At an age nearing 40, you think most men would have lost the whole "Me! Me! Me!" attitude and gotten with the program. I am surprised to say that yesterday I was part of an exchange that was just like dealing with a kid from high school who had yet to learn the world is a big place and doesn't revolve around them - in other words, there was just no talking any sense and asking him to put himself in my shoes was definitely out of the question. What went from a legititmate concern of mine turned into pure 180 of a "Look at everything I have done for you/What about me?" kind of a discussion. And the more calm my responses, the more agitated the reactions became.
And when I got to thinking about it - that is having a laugh over it with my housemates - I realised that every discussion, be it of the serious or lighthearted variety, I have ever had with this person, always somehow turned around to being all about him. I thought maybe that was just my slant on it, but then I re-read all the messages stored on my phone, and it turns out my hunch was right.
I'd like to say "He'll learn for himself one day", but I think he is definitely past that point. Now I can understand why he has stayed in Japan so long - no western woman would put up with this kind of crap.


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