Very recently I became aware of the fact that I am no longer 22/23 years of age. Okay, so I have obviously known for the last 4 or 5 years - with each passing birthday actualy - this isn't so, but it hasn't done much to put a stop to me thinking as I did when I was that age.
It is a strange phenomenon I have stumbled across. Over the last 6 months, there are situations I find myself in, during which I seem to "wake up" at some point and grasp the notion that my thinking or powers of deduction for that moment are clearly deluded for a woman of 27 years of age, but perfectly normal if I were still a young gal in my early 20s.
Let's look at Situation 1.
Yesterday, when dropping my nephews off at daycare with my sister, I bumped into a girl I went to primary school with. Stacey is one of the managers at this particular centre. It was great chatting to her and discovering what she is up to - that is being married and currently 8 weeks pregnant. I was so happy for her, although a little surprised and shocked that someone at our age would be tied down and up the duff already...
I possibly have not seen Stacey since our PS Graduation 10 years ago, well I thought so anyway, until she politely corrected me. "That was 15 years ago darls!", she laughed and then went on to say that we have known each other since kindergarten - a mere 23 years. And that's how old I thought we were.
I left the centre with a kind of "what the hell?" expression on my face and more than a little dazed. When my sister asked if I wanted to pick the kids up that afternoon, I had to decline. I wasn't quite ready to face that reality twice in one day.
With Situation 2, a plethora of emotions are brought to my attention when the fact of the matter of age materialises in my head - that is a little like what I described above, combined with a hint of sadness for lost opportunities that occur as my youth continues to slip away between my fingers, along with that very particular kind of filthy disgust I feel when I realise old, gross and perverted men have been eyeing me off on the train or as I jog around the streets.
The problem is that since arriving in Australia, finding myself in this predicament is on the increase.
I just hope the graduating school boys don't see me as "old, gross and perverted."
There are of course many other examples I can give you (like not looking 27 for a start) but it only just gets me down, and thinking about whether or not Q10 can actually turn the clock back as well as physically defying the aging process.
In the meantime, as long as I continue towake up to myself, I figure I should be right. And I've got to keep reminding myself that it's my 10-year high school reunion coming up in January...