Nearly 12 months ago, I had the unfortunate experience of being on the receiving end of a friendship-ending Bridezilla tantrum. All it took for nearly 20 years of friendship to go down the drain was a drunken miscommunication at this particular Bridezilla's hen's night. I awoke the next morning to find a rather nasty message to me on Facebook and told that in no circumstances did the bride want to speak to me.
In the following days, I left a number of phone, text, email and facebook messages and got nothing back. So I made plans to see my (then) boyfriend in Japan over the same weekend that her wedding was taking place (hey I was not about to let a long weekend go to waste!).
The timing of her wedding was around my 30th birthday, which she missed and I took as an indication the friendship was definitely over. After an awful phone call where Bridezilla screamed things at me such as "My wedding trumps your birthday any day", "I am allowed to say anything I want to you, I am getting married" and the pearler "I am getting married, I can treat people however I want" (I am still not 100% sure she could hear what was coming out of her own mouth), I told her I would not be doing the reading at her wedding nor would I be going.
She then screamed at me "What will I tell the wedding planner?"
I think that was it for me. I had no idea up until that point she had a wedding planner and I thought if you are still treating me like this when you have paid someone to take this stress on for you, then what gives you the right?
Yet since that phone call, I have often wondered if I was in the wrong. We had a great friendship for the most part and I am sad it went AWOL the way it did. Maybe the pressure of organising a wedding - or overseeing someone organising a wedding - is actually so vein-poppingly intense you really do deserve to walk all over people in any way you want. After all, at that time I was not engaged nor was I planning a wedding so I had no personal experience to go on.
Fast forward 9 months to July 2009. My boyfriend - the very one I left Bridezilla at the alter for - proposed to me and of course I said yes.
Fast forward another 6 weeks to present day. In that time, not only have my fiance and I managed to organise 90% of our Melbourne wedding from Tokyo, we have done it ourselves and with help from family, and done it all via phone calls, emails, internet and Skype.
I am so surprised at how easy and stress-free it has been - from my engagement ring (first ring I tried on) to my wedding dress (also first dress I tried on), with a good solid network on the ground (thanks mum and dad) and good communication (i.e. me telling the fiance and my family if I ever start acting like a bridezilla to bitch slap me there and then). As somebody said to me the other day "It only gets difficult because you make it difficult."
In too many cases it seems that people are way too focused on the wedding rather than the marriage itself. Then when something appears to go wrong, it is way too easy to flip out and over react without thinking responses through very well. Hey, your wedding is only 1 day after all. If you can't handle a little pressure then, how are you going to manage 30 or 40+ years of life together?
In some ways it has been a little sad in realising that organising a wedding really can be so easy and hassle free. In other words, it is a downer to comprehend that Bridezilla's behaviour really can't be justified at all.